simpliciti

2010-06-24T02:20:00.001-07:00

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stranger,

2010-06-07T03:38:00.000-07:00

that's what you've became.

and don't you dare blame me for not trying hard enough.

because as far as i'm concerned,

you're not even trying.

and if you ever bother looking a little harder,

have you ever thought,

maybe you're the one letting all of these go to waste.

i'm not coming to you anymore.

giving it a chance to disappoint me.

2010-06-04T01:03:00.000-07:00

keeping much more thoughts in livejournal.
means, i'm going to neglect this blog.

sudden thought.

2010-05-29T02:53:00.001-07:00

wedding dress.

just in case you didn't know.

2010-05-28T08:21:00.001-07:00

continue to do what you do best in.
that ability of making people feel downright worthless.

because it's working really well on me.

no expectations,

2010-05-26T20:38:00.000-07:00

then there wouldn't be disappointment.

the feeling of being alone don't have to be frightening all the time.

2010-05-26T03:16:00.000-07:00

i had walked for almost the whole 3.5km alone (since jiahui & manping were lagging so behind,)
and through the walk,
i kept staring at the stupid hot sun, the dirty reservoir water, the uneven road filled with pebbles, the people that kept coming, running past me.
though it's apparently different from what the chinese textbook always like to describe,
the calm water, the breeze, and the this and that and whatever not.
but the quietness was good.
like as if i've had finally gotten my me-time after so much.

but the walk wasn't productive,
i didn't even sort out one-quarter of the things squashed in my mind.
:/

the restrictions.

2010-05-24T07:57:00.000-07:00

since my phone contract is (finally) about to end,
i've been looking around for new phones.

but all that i was rewarded,
was just a thought,

" shit. i want to be rich. "

:/

remind myself.

2010-05-19T06:27:00.000-07:00

" don't bring up that topic, because it'll just remind you how pathetic you are. "

but no, i don't feel that way.

2010-05-16T02:03:00.001-07:00

" tell yourself that you're okay, even if it means you have to lie. "

super junior.

2010-05-12T22:39:00.001-07:00

i have no idea why but,
this reminds me of bollywood.

daddy.

2010-05-10T05:12:00.000-07:00

" it's okay. it's okay. don't be too concerned about it this time round. just do what you can. "

that actually made me feel touch,
especially coming from my dad.

this stupid.

2010-05-08T06:21:00.000-07:00

wanted to get the double sided tape off my scissors.
i actually forgotten that scissors are sharp.
sent my thumb sliding down the middle of the scissors, the blade.
took 2 seconds to realise that scissors are sharp.
took 2 seconds to realise that i was bleeding.
took 1 second to realise i was dumb.

i thought i heard.

2010-05-05T06:34:00.000-07:00

my sister was searching for her spectacles or something.

and i heard.

dad: 你看啦，把她的眼睛丢在厕所，现在找不到！
me: *thinking* 眼睛?! 0.0

okay, i admit.
i'm just bored and reluctant to get back to studying. :/

sorry, but.

2010-05-05T04:18:00.001-07:00

" it always seem more practical to pray that people will score as bad as you do, than to hope that you will score well unexpectedly when you know you've screwed up a paper. "

do you even get it?

2010-04-28T04:16:00.000-07:00

"It doesn’t make sense to let go of something you had for so long, but it doesn’t make sense to hold on when nothing’s there too. "

until twelve, i could believe in you.

2010-04-26T03:16:00.000-07:00

to: the reflection in my mirror.

i saw in others, what i couldn't find in you.

i began to doubt you.

just one more.

2010-04-18T05:45:00.000-07:00

i'm waiting for the final blow.
to stop myself from clinging on desperately.

because everything is so wrong.

2010-04-17T08:02:00.000-07:00

can't.stop.down.and.think.

2010-04-16T06:01:00.001-07:00

wenxin,
just shut up already.
i mean, seriously.

sucks.

2010-04-09T23:50:00.000-07:00

i'm not suppose to feel this way but
i didn't receive the privileges of a patient.

to build on my misery,
my mum has something against me these two days.
out of 365 days in a year,
she had to choose this two days when i'm feeling like as if my brain got fried.
like, thanks mum, i think i totally needed that.
seriously.

off to do my mountain tall homework now.
because i need to go sweep some grave tomorrow,
when i'm not even feeling good yet.

and i feel like an idiot now.
& i didnt even get a thank you.

39.3degree celsius.

2010-04-08T03:46:00.001-07:00

i think i might just kill myself soon if my fever doesnt subside.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH.

there's no escape.

2010-04-02T06:27:00.000-07:00

i had the most uncomfortable dream this morning,

i felt exposed,
from all the things i was running away from.

i had everything that i had been running away from.
all poured into a dream.

a piece of poem.

2010-04-01T22:48:00.000-07:00

Long Distance.

Though my mother was already two years dead
Dad kept her slippers warming by the gas,
put hot water bottles her side of the bed
and still went to renew her transport pass.

You couldn’t just drop in.
You had to phone.
He’d put you off an hour to give him time
to clear away her things and look alone
as though his still raw love were such a crime.

He couldn’t risk my blight of disbelief
though sure that very soon he’d hear her key
scrape in the rusted lock and end his grief.
He knew she’d just popped out to get the tea.

I believe life ends with death, and that is all.
You haven’t both gone shopping; just the same,
in my new black leather phone book there’s your name
and the disconnected number I still call.

by Tony Harrison

last hamster.

2010-03-27T03:28:00.000-07:00

fifteen minutes ago,
he was breathing.
fifteen minutes later,
he wasn't moving anymore.

so he's gone as well.
and again,
i'm the one who found out.

i hope he can meet her there.
:/

i'm back to square one.

just how i feel now.

2010-03-26T07:20:00.000-07:00

i'm that kind of person who cannot sit down and do nothing.
because my thoughts will wander, i will get paranoid.
i am capable of turning any positive thoughts into extreme negative thoughts.
i am capable of the sense of regret over things i didn't agree or took opportunity.

i'm a coward.
i'm afraid of stopping down to think.
i choose to avoid problems i cannot solve.
i'm afraid of accepting facts.

i can't express.
whatever i think and feel is mostly kept within my mind.
i don't show it on my faces most of the time,
even if i really want to.

my mum, "sometimes when i look at you, i'm afraid that you're capable of getting depression."

semi-bad day.

2010-03-25T02:35:00.000-07:00

1.nightmare again.
2.struggled to wake up at 6.10am to pick up a call from daddy's office.
in return, got a scolding from him for picking it up. (he obviously wanted to pretend he slept it off so he didnt need to go back early.)
3. can't breathe again.
4. lunch-less.
5.drenched in the rain.
6.now my head is exploding like mad.

further prediction:
1. i will screw up piano later.
2. i will not be able to study finish my biology test.
3. i will fail my biology test, again.

change my mind.
today is a bad day.

bringing me to nowhere.

2010-03-24T04:32:00.000-07:00

I: "i can never keep all my subjects at the same standard. now that my amaths is getting better,
my chemistry is starting to suck."

my sister: "this means you got no natural ability in any subject."

god, D:

haaaaaaaaaaaaaaai. [part2]

2010-03-22T06:28:00.000-07:00

first day of term2.
sucked.

let me guess.
think the next of whole term two will suck.
wait, what do you mean think?
i already know it. -..-

haaaaaaaaaaaaaaai.

2010-03-21T05:19:00.000-07:00

in one week,

i overslept.
i missed lessons.
i went for lessons. (wasn't really listening.)
i watched alice in wonderland, but not in peace.
i made decisions.
i fell sick.
i fell sick.
i fell sick.
i fell sick.
i've done my work,
but with questions undone.

god, this must be the crappiest holiday ever.

and to make things worse,
i'm still sick.
great.

and you're selfish.

2010-03-20T02:01:00.000-07:00

i'm feeling worse than yesterday.

oneday.

2010-03-18T08:12:00.001-07:00

caught alice in wonderland today.

i totally like chesire cat.
especially the evil looking version's chesire cat.

and johnny depp is impressive.

i must watch sweeny todd soon.
& alice in wonderland, the disney cartoon.

i really don't recall ever watching it once in my childhood times. :/

weirdness in a day.

2010-03-14T07:02:00.000-07:00

my dad has a recent obsession over handphones.

he has been jumping from samsung to iphone to sony ericsson to nokia.

on friday,
i happened to be watching house while lunching.
he came to sit at the sofa abruptly.

dad: eh.
i: hm? *eyes focused on the tv screen.*
dad: i heard from mummy your phone spoil again.
i: *eyes removed from the screen instantly, press the pause button* errr. ya. *guilty*
dad: how come. i thought *&*(&*(^&*&^&^&%%^$%^#%$#$^%$# (unecessary details , complaining about the phone problem.)
i: i don't know leh. it just spoilt. cant hear sometimes, like the other time.
dad: you sure it's not the reception problem? %^$%^$%^#%$#^&^*& (more complaining.)
i: it's.the.phone.spoil.
dad: %^&%^&%&%%^&%^&$%^$%^$*&*(&*#$%^ (more complaining that my ears somehow automatically blocked out.)
i: .... hmm.
dad: .....
i: ....
dad: but you know i feel like changing to iphone but %^&%^$%^$%^$%^$%^##@ (rattles on his iphone.)
i: *faints*.

i thought the next sentence after the silence was going to be,
"so you wanna change your phone?"
-..-

so i'm back to square one,
waiting for june to come before my contract ends.
guess i just need to pray my next phone wouldnt suck.
:/

_______________________________________________

my dad is unusually nice and happy today.
paid for a meal over 100 bucks,
then suggested to go swensens to eat icecream.
then initated to buy a tub of ice cream for mummy.
hmm, :/
feels weird.

mummy is weird today too.
mummy: *pours the dry ice in a bowl*
daddy: eh, why you never throw away the dry ice.
mummy: i want to play with it. hahahaa. *

:/
today. is. weird.

ps: hammie looks like he'll go soon. :/ it feels kind of scary.
pps: i dreamt of someone's funeral (i'm not too sure) and alot of ghosts yesterday. ://

i hope you went somewhere better.

2010-03-11T05:04:00.000-08:00

exactly this morning,

i had a dream.

i dreamt that my hamster passed away.

this afternoon,

i realised,

she was really gone.

my heart was thumping when i lured the other hamster out of the sandbox.

shaking the box, blowing at her.

no movement, no reaction.

then there's a point where you stop all your actions.

because you realised she's gone.

then you start crying because she looks so skinny and fragile yet peaceful,

and regret about the time when you neglected her.

i guess it happens all the time, this regretting situation.

the other hamster kept going back to her.

nibbling her fur, paws on her.

chewing on the sandbox, trying to get her out of it.

i guess it's the first time i saw him stick with her for the longest period of time.

i remember i used to favour her over the other.

because she was more active and less dirty.

but mummy says her sufferings have ended.

even my sister hid in the toilet to cry.

then it suddenly strucked me that death is something so sensitive.

i'll miss you, and i'm sorry.

if i could tell you.

2010-03-08T23:43:00.000-08:00

i want them to shout and scream at me.
i don't want her to see me enter the house and ask if i wanted lunch.
i don't want her to pretend that i didn't say anything.
i don't want her to ask if i wanted anything more.
i don't want her to ask if i specifically wanted something for dinner.
i don't want her to check out on me after lunch and told me to get some sleep if i wanted to.
i don't want him to peep from the kitchen door the moment i step into the house.
i don't want him to return into the kitchen after lunch and pretend that he was there for a purpose when he wasn't.

they appear to be behaving more caring than usual.
i know they've got to say something, but nothing comes out.
because they know how i feel.

but their acts make me think that i've let them down even more.
i rather they scream, or shout.
as long as they make me know it's my fault.

maybe it's time for me to change my expectations from
entering a junior college
to
to graduate.

we're chasing our tails.

2010-03-08T05:52:00.000-08:00

everyone has flaws.
when you refuse to accept someone's flaw.
your refusal to accept becomes a flaw.
you cause someone else to dislike your flaw.

so tell me, what exactly do we want?

paranoia?

2010-03-06T21:23:00.000-08:00

i've got this weird feeling today.
like something is about to go wrong.

i don't like this feeling.

how disgusting you and i can be.

2010-03-02T02:48:00.001-08:00

you're taking my advantage of being nice.
for making up what i did long ago.
don't test me.
i won't give way this time round.

pervert.

2010-02-26T06:21:00.000-08:00

today, i met a pervert on msn.
i didn't know who he was.
and he told me to webcam with him.
which i didn't.

after which, he asked me the colour of underwear he should wear for the webcam conversation.
and then, i ended off the conversation with this sick pervert.

taking a mask off will only reveal another mask.

2010-02-19T21:21:00.000-08:00

at this point of time, you're not forgiven.

you were looking right into my eyes, and you still lied.
i don't understand how guilt doesnt reach your heart.
you're a great disappointment,
sometimes.

i'm afraid to peel off that mask of yours,
because i'm scared to see yet another beneath this mask.

i have limitations.

2010-02-19T04:25:00.000-08:00

do.not.test.my.patience.

i'm not saying it for the sake of entertainment.

promised myself.

2010-02-14T05:56:00.003-08:00

i told myself i need to start handling my own problems.

this means i will stop telling anyone what is wrong.

besides, who ever gave a shit about what's wrong.

no i don't.

2010-02-12T19:10:00.000-08:00

i'm having some problems reading my own mind.
so i don't think anyone else can.

:/

against thoughts.

2010-02-05T04:02:00.000-08:00

because there's no way i can make you stay.

& i'm not good enough.

shh.

2010-02-02T03:39:00.000-08:00

i had a dream yesterday.
took place at the empty field across my block.
in it,
i saw two sets of coffin.
within one of it, laid a young boy, looked stiff.

and then today, on my way home,
when the bus passed by the exact same empty field,
it has now a funeral set up.

:/

your stupid games.

2010-01-29T06:51:00.000-08:00

don't make it sound like as if i'm given a choice.

because you know i'll only hate you from it.

hah.

2010-01-26T01:23:00.000-08:00

like as if this feeling has ever changed.

you're trying to kill my dreams.

2010-01-24T01:44:00.000-08:00

because there's no way i can stop the time.

not for you.

2010-01-21T04:52:00.001-08:00

don't even want to hear that word come out from your mouth.

and if i were to change one day,
i think you know who are the ones to blame.

slipping into a coma.

2010-01-19T20:09:00.000-08:00

it's time to keep your mouth shut.
because everything is changing.
and you'll just remain as one miserable individual.

you've just hurt someone's feeling subconsciously.
and really, sometimes there isn't this thing called making up.

so UNHAPPY.

2010-01-11T23:58:00.000-08:00

i need someone to tell me that things will be alright.
that you really mean that everything will be fine.
that you'll help me make sure that everything will be fine.

don't tell me if you're just saying it for the sake of saying it.
because i can tell you the exact.
and you wouldn't feel good about it.

i'mSOunhappy.

strangers meeting.

2010-01-10T01:27:00.001-08:00

renovation starts tomorrow.
result's out tomorrow.

don't really like how both of them are clashing together.
when they actually have no link.
:/

you know we all got problems.
but escaping just isn't the way out.
but it seems like none of us get it yet.

please.

2010-01-04T05:00:00.000-08:00

hello world,
please just dump me.

sorry, but.

2010-01-03T06:02:00.000-08:00

i'm lying. i'm lying. i'm lying. i'm lying. i'm lying. i'm lying. i'm lying. i'm lying. i'm lying. i'm lying. i'm lying.i'm lying. i'm lying. i'm lying. i'm lying. i'm lying. i'm lying. i'm lying. i'm lying. i'm lying.

because honestly,
i'm really scared.

ps: i had the scariest nightmare this morning,
then i had the weirdest dream after i fell asleep at 7am.

people staring.

2010-01-02T02:43:00.001-08:00

i travelled bare-footed on one foot today from the underpass to the shoe shop in northpoint today before i managed to purchase a new pair of shoes because my slippers spoilt on the bus.

2009-12-30T05:55:00.001-08:00

i'm stucked in amaths.

i'm pissed.

GONE.

2009-12-29T05:34:00.000-08:00

kittens are gone.
only left with the cat.
it looks sad.

wonder when the kittens went.
:/

not going to step out of the house anymore, until i finish my homework.
i'm pissed.

mums.

2009-12-28T01:31:00.000-08:00

i think i know why the 5 kittens and cat came my house.

because both my mums are aggressive.

now the kittens and cat have moved themselves to my neighbours' doorstep.

reason being,

my neighbour gives them food.

and they look apparently less aggressive now.

even cats are realistic.

i thought he was going to live.

2009-12-26T07:24:00.001-08:00

watched the special episode on absolute boyfriend yesterday.
started crying right after he said, " why am i a robot? "
till the show ended.

next day,
i asked my mum if she cried.
she said no because she already figured out the ending.
but i thought he was going to live.
think i'm just dumb.
:/

catchcatchcatch.

2009-12-23T05:06:00.000-08:00

i guess maybe i really need a dreamcatcher.

growing old.

2009-12-23T01:04:00.000-08:00

less than 7 hours of sleep.
painting of banner from 10am - 1.30pm.

having a massive headache now.

'good' day.

2009-12-08T20:20:00.000-08:00

38.2 degree celsius.

woke up at 8.45 with massive headache & nauseous feeling.
good.

told my mum i was feeling unwell.
got scolded.
good.

dragged myself to school.
good.

woman smelling like powder + toilet almost made me puke.
good.

squirmed around and wasted my time during sectionals.
good.

mum called the second time.
and scolded even more.
good.

dragged myself back home.
good.

38.2degree celsius now with nauseous + aching bones feeling.
fantastic.

assholes don't get the right to complain.

2009-12-07T02:31:00.000-08:00

now that i realise i'm unhappy in this place, i can't find a way to get out here.

slow and stupid.

2009-12-06T01:47:00.001-08:00

because i took so long to realise that i'm unhappy in this place.

i think this is a boring post.

2009-12-05T06:58:00.001-08:00

: this was suppose to be posted yesterday night but i just couldnt move anymore.

11.30am to 10pm.
spent my day out with my family to choose the materials
for renovation of kitchen and bathroom.

renovation is such a painful process.

not only money is spent,
there's so much things to choose
& alot of places to travel to.

choosing of both floor & wall tiles for the bathroom, and the tiles for the bathroom (i chose it, yay.)
& while choosing the wall tiles, they were talking about some two stripes of wall tiles on the wall which would be in different colour then the original colour.
& i tried telling them to make one of the wall that different colour instead.
i said it once, they never listened.
i gave up. (i'll never attempt saying it twice. only pisses myself off.)
& in the end, they did what i attempted telling them but they totally failed to listen to what i had to say.
it's like .. roll-eyes.
seems like no one is ever listening in when i'm talking.
especially in my family, which totally pisses me off,
but gradually i rather shut myself up because it's better than talking to the air.
but nevermind, should just move on.

& then there was the choosing of colour for the cabinets in the kitchen.
3 colours. the bottom cabinet, top and top cabinet.
which was dark brown, galaxy black and light brown.
however, mum wasn't too pleased with the colour combination because she wanted this extremely dark bottom cabinet but it would look weird with our flooring,
but she gave in.

& choosing of new door for our house's main door.
mum chose the leaf patterned door.
i chose the curvy patterned door.
my sister chose the spiral square patterned door.
& the decision was spiral square patterned door after my mum considered for a damn long time.
and i didn't know there were so many type of door patterns.
like dolphins and fishes, and umbrellas and sun.
makes me feel .. :/

& all these choosing took nearly 2 hours.

next stop is choosing of stoves and sinks for kitchen.
they finally decided to instore a built in stove after a gazillion years?
i thought we were just changing the tiles in toilet
but to my surprise,
there was changing of sink, the mirror & even the toilet bowl & building of new shelves.
cooool.

& after that took a walk in ikea to see more mirrors
and choosing of refrigerator in courts.
mum got to choose the fridge she wanted since kitchen is her place.
my sister said mummy would probably be happier when she opened the fridge's door to look for food. (:
so she chose this white fridge in the end with some random flowering pattern imprinted on the fridge.
while i got more attracted to these two fridges.
i think among all the fridges in courts,
this attraction was 120%.

same pattern but different colours.
BUT, i was still mostly attracted to the one which was in steel colour.
wahaahahaaa, but obviously didnt get it.
cause the price was thriple the one they eyed-on.
but i managed to get my mum engrossed into the fridge i like too. :D
:/

but to think of it,
normally girls get excited looking at clothes
but i get excited looking at pretty fridges.
sounds like some sign of gluttony. :/

so to conclude,
renovation is such a painful process.

but afterall, the change would be good. :)

pps: told my sister when i get to renovate my house in the future, i'll probably spend one day looking for one furniture so it's less tiring.
my sister said i'll never get to complete the renovation.
:/

and i almost forgot,

i saw joshua ang in courts.

december.

2009-12-02T05:44:00.000-08:00

i love december.
but i hate december.
AAAAAAAH, i hate this feeling.

first book.

2009-11-30T02:59:00.000-08:00

i've been feeling sinful.
for sitting in front of the tv/computer
and wasting & rotting my time away.

so i decided to let my hands touch a storybook.
havent been reading a single storybook since ..
at least 6 months ago.

& i'm pretty amazed by myself that i managed to finish one book in three days.
i normally take a week.
i'm not very good with words flooding pages.

& what's more entertaining to entertain myself with one of those
ridiculously-unrealistic-disgusting-yet-nice-in-a-way-or-another love storybook.
and to make things 'better', in chinese.

but i'm pretty certain, somethings they say in the book is no doubt very true.
just like, i finished the book,

IF, 我们相爱。

& i agree that with the author that,

1. “我把自己带出迷雾森林之后，赫然发现当一个人太温柔体贴，在某些时候，其实更伤人。”

2.“一个人的世界容易寂寞，三个人的世界绝对很拥挤。我怕我在三个人的世界里连呼吸哟口气的空间都没有，所以宁愿选择寂寞的一个人世界。”

going off to read another book.
because i'm pissed currently.
and i hate the computer.

dramatic dramas.

2009-11-27T07:06:00.001-08:00

don't know why.
but this is probably the only drama i'm more interested in waiting for.

you're contradicting yourself.

2009-11-25T04:42:00.000-08:00

it's a very funny thing as to how my parents are very fond of chiding me in the lack of confidence i have towards things that i have yet to try out but yet they are the ones demolishing my confidence.

& that makes me wonder, how exactly are they supportive?

hm.

you don't understand.

2009-11-24T06:00:00.000-08:00

you don't care how it hurts
until you lose the one you wanted
cause you're taking her for granted
and everything you have got destroyed.

songs from my mum's generation.

2009-11-21T07:29:00.000-08:00

woke up feeling like i lost something.
maybe i'm just waiting for it to happen.

''有一种想见不敢见的傷痛。
让我對你的思念越來越浓。''
- 听说爱情回过来。

why you so speechless?

2009-11-20T06:50:00.001-08:00

i spent 15 minutes staring at the orange balloon i had today.
i think balloons are amazing stuff.
i like balloons.
they look so perfect, yet empty at the same time.

however, that was just random thought.

________________________________________________________

a trip to ikea with my family just now.
looking around at the kitchens for inspiration for renovation.
viewed quite a number of kitchens and i would say,
there isn't any kitchen that i would dislike.
i think ikea is heaven.
they have kitchens designed accordingly to size of house/no. of people living in house.

so i was looking at this kitchen which is relatively small.
with just a single table, and a few cabinets.
and on top of the table is a laptop.
so i told my sister,
"eheh, see that is your next time. cook here, then eat there and use laptop at the same time."
and i think she said,
"ya lor, when i'm leaving alone next time."

she's so sure that she wouldn't get married in the future.
i'm think i'm pretty sure that i wouldn't get married in the future.
so maybe we should just find a bigger kitchen and live together? :/

alejandro.

lady gaga.

2009-11-16T08:24:00.000-08:00

just went to check out her newest album.
and ..

i think the mv MAY cause some discomfort.

told you she's abnormal.
:/
i think she's impressively awkwardly eccentric?

but i bet i'll be seeing this in mtv channel pretty soon.

not one, but TWO.

2009-11-13T05:52:00.001-08:00

i.
am.
having.
very.
very.
very.
very.
very.
very.
extremely.
painful.
ulcers.

AAAAH.

why won't you help me out.

2009-11-11T07:14:00.001-08:00

why don't you help me escape.

the weather that gives off a feeling.

2009-11-07T23:50:00.000-08:00

kept myself in the room for 3 hours,
watching meteor garden.
pretty much enjoyed spending time alone.

guess i'm taking a walk later in the evening,
don't feel like talking today.
don't feel like seeing some people today.

it's a bad day,
with a pretty weather.

makes me cry.

2009-11-07T06:45:00.000-08:00

caught my sister's keeper today.
sad movie that makes people cry.
i think jiahui got so happy for me that i cried. :/

i think must be the retarded-30minutes-only hot shot playing on the tv recently.
got me back to watching meteor garden (WTF?!) that was 8 years ago?
ya, i think the fashion 8 years ago was.
shingz. or. boomz.
i cant tell.

and it got me so cheena-ish all of a sudden.
maybe it's a good thing.
since i'm taking my chinese paper within a few days.

你要的爱,戴佩妮

虽然经常梦见
你还是毫无头绪
外面正在下着雨
今天是星期几

but i don`t know
你去那里

虽然不曾怀疑你
还是忐忑不定
谁是你的那个唯一
原谅我怀疑自己

我明白我要的爱
会把我宠坏
像一个小孩
只懂在你怀里坏

你要的爱不只是依赖
要像个大男孩风吹又日晒
生活自由自在

PS: i like to be free.

light on.

2009-11-06T04:40:00.000-08:00

i like how the soccer field lights up at night.
it's like ...
like ...
like ...

W-O-W.

whooooooooooooo. (:

justin bieber.

2009-11-04T04:40:00.001-08:00

i think he just got so lucky.

shit. really.

2009-11-04T01:25:00.000-08:00

don't ever, ever underestimate menses cramp.
PS:
yaya, i know what you're best in.
throwing your temper &
bitching your way through.
i'm taken aback by that, totally.
W-O-W.

killing monday blues.

2009-11-02T06:17:00.000-08:00

i'm happy today.

1. our imaginary jigsaw puzzle fantasy.
2. discovery on the song one less lonely girl by justin bieber.
3. all the right moves by one republic on radioooooo.

HAHAHA,
especially one less lonely girl.
made me super super happy.
though it's just nothing.

HA.HA.HA.

2009-10-29T06:48:00.000-07:00

MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

i just got bored,
and felt like laughing.

too down to earth?

2009-10-25T00:37:00.000-07:00

remember this show?

i was switching channels on tv in the afternoon,

and i came across this drama repeating.

GOD I HATE THIS SHOW.

they make things that are so wrong look so right.

the storyline is kind of like ...

my ass.
or maybe it's just because i have my feet glued to the ground.

i'm too realistic.

(no offence though.)

what?!

2009-10-23T05:08:00.000-07:00

absent from school today because of flu.
didn't rot away at home either.

i accomplished several stuff including :

1. cleaning of the study room's cupboard.
2. cleaning of the bedroom's cupboard.
3. mopping of floor.
4. cooking of food.
5. washing of plates.
6. completing the laundry.
7. folding of clothes.

wait a minute.

i think i've just lived the housewife life.
:/

ahchoo. ahchoo. ahchoo. ahchoo. ahchoo. ahchoo. ahchoo. ahchoo. ahchoo. ahchoo.

2009-10-22T05:11:00.000-07:00

i used 6 packets of tissue papers so far.

i think my nose is going to detach sooner or later
& my throat is going to collapse.

:/

just agree with me.

2009-10-21T06:05:00.000-07:00

i know i know!

that makes me an asshole.

and i bet you agree with me.

boys like girls & taylor swift.

2009-10-19T06:10:00.000-07:00

two is better than one ;

I remember what you wore on the first day
You came into my life
And I thought hey
You know this could be something
'Cause everything you do and words you say
You know that it all takes my breath away
And now I'm left with nothing

So maybe it's true, that I can't live without you
Maybe two is better than one
But There's so much time, to figure out the rest of my life
And you've already got me coming undone
And I'm thinking two, is better than one

I remember every look upon your face,
The way you roll your eyes, the way you taste
You make it hard for breathing
'Cause when I close my eyes and drift away
I think of you and everythings okay
And finally now, believing

And maybe it's true, that I can't live without you
Well maybe two is better than one
But there's so much time, to figure out the rest of my life
And you've already got me coming undone
And I'm thinking two, is better than one

Yeah, yeah

I remember what you wore on the first day
You came into my life
And I thought hey

Maybe it's true, that I can't live without you
Maybe two is better than one
But there's so much time, to figure out the rest of my life
And you've already got me coming undone
And I'm thinking

Oooh I can't live without you
'Cause baby two is better than one
There's so much time, to figure out the rest of my life
And I've figured out with all that's said and done
Two, is better than one

Two is better than one.

i'm a man.

2009-10-19T05:01:00.000-07:00

god, i hate shopping.

3rd day.

2009-10-18T07:39:00.000-07:00

my parents just called.

it feels really happy to see the word
' overseas ' appearing on the phone.

i miss their voices.
i miss them so much.

or maybe i'm just sick. :/

lesson learnt.

2009-10-17T06:57:00.000-07:00

caught (500) days of summer today.
no doubt a nice movie,
but i found it alittle too short.
to think of it, the ending is kind of cool.

& my lesson learnt.

' nothing is meant to be, it's just a coincidence. '

thoughts running wild.

2009-10-15T23:21:00.000-07:00

i think i'm getting paranoid.
woke up at 7 this morning just to say byebye to my parents before they leave for the airport.
i think i understand how my mum feels now.
i keep wondering if they are safe.
it sounds weird, like as if i'm their parent.
but i just keep thinking about it.
all the thoughts keep running wild.

so it's just my sister and i in the house for the next 8 days.

alright, i better find something to do now.
before i drive myself insane.

keep them safe, please.

bad.

2009-09-30T03:24:00.001-07:00

i just experienced an earthquake.

Justin Bieber vs Me.

2009-09-28T07:21:00.000-07:00

it just got me thinking.

justin bieber is 15, probably some sort of new rising star in the future.
currently, i assume he is earning big bucks by singing " ONE TIME, IMMA TELL YOU ONE TIME, ONE TIMEEEEEEEEEEEE. "

and then there's me.
i'm 15 as well.
currently, i'm trying so hard to mug my ass off for eoy.

he's 15 and singing.
i'm 15 and mugging.
wait, that doesnt make sense.
D:

walaaau, my life is a fail.

what we could have been.

2009-09-20T05:21:00.000-07:00

what we could have been.

have you realised.

it's not that i don't want to communicate with you,

but you just make communication between us hard.

i know one day this will eventually become one of my greatest regret in life.

and it hurts me to think about it.

what you just said, still lingers in my mind.

did you really mean it?

maybe at this point of time,

lying to me

might make me happier.

at least i can use it as an excuse for this communication problem.

after going rounds,

getting back to square one.

i realised,

the only person i'm disappointed in.

is not you, is me.

lovedrunk.

2009-09-18T08:24:00.001-07:00

i reallyreally like balloons.

but now,

let's me just concentrate on enduring the pain.

eighteen.

2009-09-15T05:43:00.000-07:00

i've been listening to the same thing for eighteen times,
while doing my summary.

postcards from faraway ; coldplay

and i didn't get sick of it.

when was the last time you got sick of something?

my neck hurts.

2009-09-14T03:43:00.001-07:00

dreams.

i've been dreaming quite alot these few days.
and all i can say is i should either salute to my vivid imaginations or
just accept the fact that my dreams are always up to no good.

i've always wondered what dreams do people dream of.

is it happy dreams?
is it dreams that don't make any sense?
is it horror dreams?
is it sad dreams?
or, do they even dream? hmm.

so i can still can remember four dreams that i had in four consecutive days.

1. most common of all : people falling off buildings.
seriously, tell me.
what's new.

i think one day it will come to a point where i just stand still in my dreams.
and wait for someone to jump down so that i can wake up in horror,
without having to go through those stupid suspense that keeps me uncomfortable.

but then again,
this time it was just some boy dropping off the building.
that's all.

2. scary yet ridiculous : four corpses under my block.

like whatthehell?
i don't even know how the four corpses got under my block
apart from the fact that all four corpses were related to something, god knows what.
so in the dream,
out of no where, i had four corpses lying under my block, their faces being covered.
then i especially took a good look at one of the covered bodies, because i had this strange feeling.
but i thought i was just being overly curious over that dead body so i moved on anyways.
then somewhere along in the dream,
i received a phone call.
and to my oh my god horror,
the corpse that i was especially interested in was my mother.

you have no idea what that feeling was.
like devastated + puzzled + afraid + helpless + sadness overwhelming x 10000000000.

and then ...

i woke up & i found out i was crying in my dreams and in actual fact.

and i told my mum about it,
she actually laughed and said,
" eh, you very eager waiting for me to die is it? "
because that isn't the first time of me dreaming her dying.
hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm,
obviously not.

3. stupid meaningless dream: masked man.

no, i don't mean masked man by robbers.
masked man as in a man wearing a mask, those mask you found in masquerade.
so in the dream, there was this man,
wearing a masquerade mask, he had light blue eyes (and that's all i could see).
something happened in the middle of the dream and i don't remember.
and then, suddenly i came to realised that i was face to face with that masked man.
so i looked at him, in the eyes.
( since well, that's probably the only thing i could look at.)
and then there was this overwhelming feeling of depression in his eyes.
(sounds ridiculous but true.)
like as if he was transmitting some sadness through eye contact.
and there was this sad aura feeling, super uncomfortable.
HAHAH.
so i spent a long time looking into his eyes and wondering why he makes people feel so sad.
and it came to a point of time where i think he was going to do something that will reveal why he is so sad,
and then..
and then..
.....
.........
.............

iwokeupbecausemysisteraccidentallybangedthedoorwhenshelefttheroom.

-..-

it just kind of irritates me not knowing why.
and it irritates me further to know that i have meaningless dreams.
but what else can i do?
aaaaaaaaaaahh, lord.

PS: so what did you dream last night?

that's right.

2009-09-12T10:02:00.000-07:00

this is it.
i see myself.
spending the last day of my not-even-fit-to-be-holiday-holidays.
rushing homework.

yay.
how enjoyable.
that i barely can find words to describe how i feel now.

screw this.

PS: 能不能暂时把你的勇气给我在梦想快消失的时候.

aaaahh.

2009-09-12T00:36:00.000-07:00

screw the homework,
because i'm having a bad headache.

like as if.
i don't have a choice.
F.

guess what.

2009-09-09T06:48:00.001-07:00

guess what.

my phone is not fixed yet.

weeeeee.
-..-

PS: my dad bought 2 singapore flyer tickets for mummy and himself.
how nice.