i'm so angry with myself.
today is a major screwed up day.

i've always wondered how people wake up in the morning.
& how do they feel waking up.

do you ..
wake up and feel like as if it's like a brand new day ahead
and yesterday's bad happenings were all bullshit?

do you ..
wake up and feel indescribably annoyed because you still want to sleep?

do you..
wake up and feel like, " damn, i've got a shitload of things to do today "?

do you..
wake up and feel nothing? (because you practically have nothing to do for the whole day
and you know you're going to be super bored.)

look.
you can feel so many different feelings the moment you wake up.
you could have felt optimistic.
you could have felt irritated.
you could have felt pessimistic.
you could have felt bored.

but,
how come,
HOW COME,
i feel none of the above.

this morning,
i woke up like any other morning.
but the feeling is gross.
i woke up today with some traumatising feeling.
must have something to with what i dreamt again. -..-
i remembered i dreamt about something to do with .. heights.
but i just dont like the feeling when i wake up everyday.
that traumatising + cold-around-my-surrounding feeling.

...

and i'm very pissed with my body functions.
supposedly to go for choir today.
reached school, feeling alright.
apart from a sore throat.
sore sorethroat, not exactly sore throat.
you know what i mean.. ?
kay, nevermind.

then the vomitting symptom started appearing.
then i couldn't stand it anymore.
now, i have an awkward stomach feeling.
i guess it's like food poisoning? :/

but i feel so bad.
always screwing up choir practices.
like, menses cramp.
TALKING ABOUT THAT.
why is that most girls can jump/hop around when they have menses.
but i would spend my energy and time cramming around trying to control the sickening cramps.
why why why why.
ah, i know.
because my life sucks.
still, i feel so bad.
sorry, miss ong & wiphaporn.

i'm so angry with myself.
today is a major screwed up day.

i've always wondered how people wake up in the morning.
& how do they feel waking up.

do you ..
wake up and feel like as if it's like a brand new day ahead
and yesterday's bad happenings were all bullshit?

do you ..
wake up and feel indescribably annoyed because you still want to sleep?

do you..
wake up and feel like, " damn, i've got a shitload of things to do today "?

do you..
wake up and feel nothing? (because you practically have nothing to do for the whole day
and you know you're going to be super bored.)

look.
you can feel so many different feelings the moment you wake up.
you could have felt optimistic.
you could have felt irritated.
you could have felt pessimistic.
you could have felt bored.

but,
how come,
HOW COME,
i feel none of the above.

this morning,
i woke up like any other morning.
but the feeling is gross.
i woke up today with some traumatising feeling.
must have something to with what i dreamt again. -..-
i remembered i dreamt about something to do with .. heights.
but i just dont like the feeling when i wake up everyday.
that traumatising + cold-around-my-surrounding feeling.

...

and i'm very pissed with my body functions.
supposedly to go for choir today.
reached school, feeling alright.
apart from a sore throat.
sore sorethroat, not exactly sore throat.
you know what i mean.. ?
kay, nevermind.

then the vomitting symptom started appearing.
then i couldn't stand it anymore.
now, i have an awkward stomach feeling.
i guess it's like food poisoning? :/

but i feel so bad.
always screwing up choir practices.
like, menses cramp.
TALKING ABOUT THAT.
why is that most girls can jump/hop around when they have menses.
but i would spend my energy and time cramming around trying to control the sickening cramps.
why why why why.
ah, i know.
because my life sucks.
still, i feel so bad.
sorry, miss ong & wiphaporn.